


the worst in me

by ChaoticAceCryptid



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: F/M, actually this is for a murder cat rp i'm in, also Elmstorm doesn't belong to me btw, also these are fanclans babey, but i do own Shark and Nettle, he belongs to one of the mod's in the rp and i love them and him, like a backstory to my girl Shark, pre-rp tho, tbh i totally forgot how to work ao3 ahah, they're all ocs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 07:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16237451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticAceCryptid/pseuds/ChaoticAceCryptid
Summary: his departure couldn't have gone worse for both of them, and she still regrets the things she said that day





	the worst in me

_Fire_ . Flames danced in her vision, and Sharktooth stood frozen in fear as the searing heat lapped at her pelt, smoke filling her lungs and choking her. She wanted to run, to _flee_ \- to escape the flames burning around her. Burning _her_ . But she couldn’t move - why couldn’t she move? A wail caught in her throat. _StarClan save me!_

She woke with a start. Her paws kicked out into a sleeping form beside her, causing them to grunt. Sharktooth barely seemed to notice as she scrambled to her paws, her thin fur ruffled and dirty, her pale yellow eyes wide with fear. Her chest heaved as she gasped for breath, the fresh scent of the forest filling her lungs, chasing away the thick scent of smoke.

“What’s wrong with you?” A voice snapped, causing her to flinch, but it pulled her to the present.

Panting, she blinked rapidly, slowly realizing that she was not surrounded by fire, and glanced down toward the ragged form beside her. _Nettleblaze_.

The brown-and-white tom was scowling, his mint green eyes flashing with annoyance. “Can’t anyone get any sleep around here?”

Sharktooth swallowed her fear, feeling anger creeping into her heart. She was safe - she was _okay_. There wasn’t another fire. Shaking her head slowly, she sat down, letting out a heavy sigh as she ignored her mate, instead staring down at her trembling paws. Would her nightmares ever leave her?

With a grunt, the long-legged tom heaved himself to his paws, shaking out his patched pelt, grumbling under his breath as he began to groom the bits of dirt from his fur. He said nothing else to her.

Ignoring the hurt and the bitterness that was welling in her throat, the dark molly got to her paws, lifting her chin as she gazed at the resting forms around her. It had been a moon since they’d began their journey with SedgeClan, but nothing seemed better - not even with TwigClan joining them. Her Clan was still without a leader or deputy, and there were so few of them left it seemed like they could hardly call themself a Clan at all.

A fresh wave of grief crashed over her, and Sharktooth lowered her head, gritting her teeth as her vision blurred. The deaths of her mother and brother still weighed heavy on her heart, and she believed she would never get over their passing. How could she, when she knew they had burned alive? Trapped inside of the camp that once sheltered them and their ancestors? Did StarClan even care about them anymore?

“Hey!”

Sharktooth jerked reeled back when she felt something jab into her side and, looking up, she saw her mate staring at her through narrowed eyes, his tail lashing. “Were you listening to a word I said?”

Anger boiled in her belly and her lipped curled, her pale yellow eyes flashing. “I’m glad to see you’re as sympathetic as ever,” she hissed, doing her best to keep her voice low and ignoring the urge and lash her claws across his ears.

Nettleblaze scowled. “Sympathy doesn’t feed bellies,” he snapped. “It’s nearly dawn and I haven’t seen anyone even _attempt_ to get up. We need to hunt.”

“And leave without telling anyone?” Sharktooth said, her voice low but barbed, her ears pressing flat against her skull. “And have them believe we’ve abandoned them?”

The tom rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Must you always jump to conclusions like that?” With another lash of his tail, he stalked away from her, careful not to disturb those around her. “Let’s just go.”

For a moment, the dark queen refused to move. She knew what he would do if she stayed - nothing. He wouldn’t do anything. He’d be angry when he returned, but that wasn’t new. She had grown accustomed to his sharp tongue and cold demeanor, and she hated it. She hated her own anger that burned in her belly like the fire that ravaged CloudClan - the fire that only burned whenever she was with him. _How did it come to this?_ How had he managed to always bring out the worst in her?

With a heavy sigh, Sharktooth finally shook her pelt  and quickly followed after him, carefully avoiding the sleeping forms around them, grateful for the silence that fell between them. She watched as he stalked along in front of her, his fur bristling, his tail swishing, his frustration and rage rolling off of him like storm clouds.

She remembered when they had been in love. Back when they were younger. It had been… _good_ . His laughter was a distant sound in her memory. He used to smile, and used to be full of light despite his snappy attitude. _What changed?_

Sharktooth blinked, slowly shaking her head as Nettleblaze picked up his pace, racing toward the edge of the forest. She couldn’t let herself get lost in the past - not when there were three Clans that needed to be fed. With a sharp inhale, the dark molly raced after the patched tom, feeling her heart flutter as she burst out of the tree line and into a meadow, feeling the urge to run and to never stop. Had the forest not encircled the clearing, it would’ve almost felt like home.

Pushing aside the pang of yearning deep in her chest, she came to a stop, lifting her muzzle as she drank in the scent of the clean air, closing her eyes as she listened to the wind whispering in the trees. Dawn was beginning to creep into the horizon, turning the sky into a mixture of pink and gold. It felt… _peaceful._ She would give anything for it to last.

Shaking her head, Sharktooth opened her eyes and glanced toward Nettleblaze, who was standing near by. He, too, seemed lost in the peace - his mint green eyes closed, his fur and posture relaxed. He seemed at ease.

For a moment, she stood still, staring at him and feeling her heart soften. It had been far too long since she had last seen him like that.

Slowly, the tom shook his head and turned to look at her, and the two stared at each other, unsure of what to say. Their gazes were troubled, filled with things left unspoken, and it didn’t take long until he turned his gaze away.

“We might be able to chase a rabbit here,” Nettleblaze said, his voice stiff as his hard demeanor returned, souring whatever gentleness that had filled the space between them. “Make it easier for us to kill it.”

Sharktooth swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing her fur to remain flat. She hated how easy it was for him to make things cold. “Very well.” She flicked her tail, turning her head away. “Should we-”

“You should flush one out,” he interrupted, flicking his tail dismissively. “Chase it to me and I’ll take care of it.”

She bristled in response, her lip curling as she bit back a sharp retort. Lashing her tail, she narrowed her eyes as she glared at him before stalking forward. “Fine,” she hissed, smacking her tail against his side, ignoring his hiss that followed. “But you better be here when I return. I’d rather not have to go back and tell everyone you’ve left us.”

She regretted those words the moment they left her jaws - those words were something she wouldn’t normally say. She refused to look back at him, and instead raced toward the other side of the forest, racing through the clearing, away from his gaze that bore into her back. She would apologize, but not now.

Giving her pelt a good shake, Sharktooth slowed her pace as she entered the forest once more, her dirty fur bristling uncomfortably, and she forced herself to focus on the task at paw. The Clans needed to eat - after all, it was unclear when they would get another opportunity to do so. At the pace they were moving… well, they would need all the strength they could get.

With a heavy sigh, she slowed to a halt, lifting her muzzle and parting her jaws to taste the air. At first, she struggled to push through the scents of the forest - through the scent of the trees and the rotting leaves under paw. Thankfully, she was soon able to pick the scent of something living, perhaps due to her adjusting to life under the trees from their journey, and recognized the smell to be from a mouse. Ignoring the fact that Nettleblaze would be waiting and knowing that they needed everything they could catch, Sharktooth dropped down into a crouch and began to follow the scent, carefully placing her paws to not disturb the silence.

She quickly spotted the little creature, nibbling on a seed under the roots of a large oak, and for a moment, she stayed frozen. Should she charge at it, or would it scare it away? Before she could decide, the wind shifted, and the mouse froze, lifting its little muzzle to sniff the air. Without allowing herself to think another moment, the dark molly lunged forward, taking the mouse off guard, and managed to dispatch it with a swift bite to its neck.

For a moment, Sharktooth stood still, breathing heavily as she stood over the small body, her mind whirling. _It worked! It actually worked!_ With a proud purr, she picked it up by the tail, ready to head back, but stopped. She needed to find a rabbit. Dropping the mouse, she carefully buried it under the leaves, hoping nothing would find it, and set off once more in search of a rabbit to chase to her mate’s paws.

As if StarClan were finally looking out for them, it didn’t take her long to find one, searching through the leaves for something to eat. Feeling relief bubbling in her chest, the dark molly gazed around her, doing her best to map out where to go in her mind before dropping into a crouch and circling around the creature, grateful it was unaware of her presence. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes to steady herself, and then raced out toward it. The rabbit spotted her and quickly took off, its long legs quickly carrying it far ahead of her. Energy burst in her chest, allowing her legs to run even faster as she directed it back toward the meadow, bursting out of the treeline and into the clearing.

She skidded to a halt, watching as excitement rushed through her as Nettleblaze exploded out of hiding, tackling into the rabbit, its scream being cut short as he bit its throat. Instead of heading straight toward him, however, she turned and raced back into the forest, back to where she buried the mouse. Quickly, she dug it back up, feeling lighter than she had been waking that morning, and rushed back toward her mate, her paws barely skimming the ground as she left the treeline once again.

Sharktooth slowed her pace as she neared the brown-and-white tom, letting out a purr as she dropped the mouse down by the rabbit that laid at his paws. A smile spread across her muzzle, her eyes glowing as she met his hard gaze. “We make a good team,” she purred, her tail curling in delight.

However, instead of saying something positive or agreeing with her, Nettleblaze’s eyes darkened and he scowled. “It took you too long,” he said, his voice coming out in a growl as he lashed his tai. “I would’ve been better off hunting by myself.”

Her good mood instantly evaporated. Drawing her spine into an arch, her fur began to bristle, her ears flattening and lips pulling back into a snarl as anger flashed in her pale yellow eyes. “How _dare_ you!” She spat, the ferocity in her voice startling both of them.

Nettleblaze stared at her for a moment, his mint green eyes wide with surprise before hardening once more, fury burning in his gaze as he bared his teeth and flattened his ears. “How dare _I_?” He demanded, clawing at the ground as his tail whipped behind him. “I’m not the one believing you’ll leave at any given moment, now am I? I’m not the one wasting time going after a stupid mouse that can barely feed one!”

Sharktooth let out a furious hiss, digging her claws into the earth to keep herself from lashing out at him, struggling to reign in the rage that burned deep in her belly. She shouldn’t have thought so little of him, but she couldn’t find it in her to apologize. Not when he was acting like this. “Can’t you just be happy for _once_ ?” Her voice was rising, nearly forming in a shout, everything she had kept bottled inside of her for the past moon, and even before the fire. All the time she spent by his side, miserable and full of anger, finally spilling out. This _wasn’t_ her.

She shoved her muzzle into his face, causing him to hiss and reel back, but she ignored it. Her breathing was heavy, her body trembling with rage. “You always complain about everything! Always snapping at everyone! I can’t do anything to please you, can I? I can’t do anything right in your eyes!” She wanted to scream at him, to claws his muzzle, to make him feel the pain and the anger that he had burned into her heart moons ago. She wanted him to feel the pain she felt from staying silent for so long, for falling out of love with him but never saying a word. How could she blame him for everything, when she was no better than him?

Nettleblaze took another step back, his mint green eyes burning bright with rage, her own hatred and pain reflecting in his gaze. “Like you’re one to talk!” He snarled, stepping forward as he pushed his face into hers, but she refused to flinch away. “I’ve done everything I can for you, but you still don’t care!” His lips pulled back, as he sneered. “I’ve seen how you’ve looked at Elmstorm!”

Sharktooth stepped back, her eyes flashing as she stared at him, her eyes widening as her fur began to flatten. Guilt weighed heavily in her stomach like a stone, and she struggled to push it aside. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She hissed, her voice weak, her fire dying.

His tail whipped wildly behind him, his eyes blazing. “You know exactly what it means!” He spat, his voice rising. “If you loved me you wouldn’t be looking at other cats! Especially not one who already has a family!”

“I wouldn’t be looking at others if you loved _me_ !” She shrieked, breaking the still morning air, pain lacing her furious tone as her sides heaved, her muzzle crinkled in a snarl as she struggled to breath. Her vision swam, her mind whirling, her body shaking as she dug her claws deep into the ground to keep her steady. “I would never do anything to hurt you and you know that! I would never do anything to break up another pair - and I never thought you would stoop so low to accuse me of such a thing!” It took every inch of willpower to keep herself from launching at him, her rage boiling over as she stared at his own fury. “I wish I never became your mate!” Her tail lashed violently behind her, a jolt of pain racing up her spine, but she ignored it. “I _hate_ you!”

Nettleblaze froze at the statement, his gaze growing cold as he lifted his head, his lips pulled back in disgust. “I see how it is,” he said quietly, a growl forming deep in his throat.

Sharktooth stared at him, her rage dissolving as her eyes widened in horror. Realization of what she said began to sink in and she froze, guilt swelling in her belly. _Oh… Oh StarClan why…?_ “Nettle,” she croaked, her voice weak and shaking. “I didn’t mean-”

“I’m leaving.”

She stared at him, her mind going blank.

Nettleblaze stared back, his cold gaze unreadable. “I’m leaving,” he repeated, his voice stiff and cold as ice. “Today.”

Sharktooth wanted the ground to swallow her whole, the world beginning to spin around her. _No…_ She wanted to wail, her body trembling as she fell back onto her haunches, her shoulders hunching as she stared up at him, feeling as though she couldn’t breathe. What had she done? “Please… you don’t mean that…” Her voice was barely a whisper.

The brown-and-white tom said nothing in response and, instead, turned his head away, his tail lashing as he gazed out toward the rising sun that crawled above the treetops.

Her chest heaved as she struggled for breath, her anger once more returning. “Coward!” She spat, startling him.

“Sharktooth,” he began, but she ignored him.

She got to her paws, her hackles rising once more as she lashed her tail, eyes burning as tears began to roll down her cheeks. “You coward!” She spat again, her voice shaking. “I was _right_! Why would you leave us?”

Anger flared in his green eyes as he drew himself up to his full height, his lips pulled back into a snarl once more. “StarClan has abandoned us all!” His tail whipped behind him, the fur along his spine bristling. “They abandoned us the moment they let Pearstar become leader, and look what happened! The Clans are in tatters and there’s barely anything left of our own! They’re going to _fail_!” His chest heaved as he shook his head, letting out a hiss. “Why should I stay when there’ll be nothing by doom?”

The two stared at each other with raised hackles, fury burning in the hearts of both warriors. Sharktooth could feel her voice dying in her throat, her body shaking as she did her best to keep herself from sobbing. How had they gone so wrong? How had they allowed this hatred to grow so strong it only fueled their rage?

Why did they let themselves become this way?

Nettleblaze let out a heavy sigh, turning his head as his fur began to flatten. “Come with me,” he said quietly, his voice softer than it had been in moons. He glanced back toward his mate, the fire in his eyes gone. “It can be just the two of us. We can start over - we can make it _work_.” He hesitated. “Please, Shark… you’re my mate. I love you.”

Sharktooth flinched when he said those words, her own fire draining out from her paws and into the earth below, leaving her weary. _I love you_. He couldn’t have made it sound more disingenuous even if he tried. “You don’t love me,” she said flatly, her voice quiet. She lifted her head, gazing into his pleading eyes, and she felt herself begin to cry. “I’m not your mate. You don’t love me - not like you used to. I… I think we both know we stopped being mates long ago.”

It pained her to say those words, her heart tightening with grief as she struggled for breath. _You never love me_ , she wanted to say, but she knew that wasn’t true. He did love her at one point, and she loved him at one point too. But that… that made it even worse.

He stared at her in silence, grief filling his gaze before he looked away, once more fixing his gaze on the rising sun.

“I know,” he said finally, his voice stiff but quiet with defeat. “I’ve known that for moons.” He turned to face her, his eyes cold once more, the same anger beginning to burn deep in their depths. “Goodbye, Sharktooth.”

She stared at him, her legs trembling, her mind spinning. She bared her teeth once more, digging her claws into the ground, and welcomed the anger that sparked deep in her belly - it kept her distracted from the grief that threatened to crash down on her once again. “Then leave!” Her tail lashed, her voice rising into a desperate howl. “Leave like the coward you are! We’ll all be better off without you! _I’ll_ be better off with you gone!” Her pale yellow eyes blazed. “You’re no better than Oaktail! I hope you know that!”

Hurt glittered in his mint green eyes, but they quickly hardened. With a hiss, Nettleblaze shoved the rabbit toward her, hatred filling his gaze. “Fine,” he growled, his voice sharp as thorns. “But don’t bother to come looking for me when it all falls apart. I gave you a chance to leave with me.” He sneered. “You act like you’re better than me for staying - at least I never abandoned you in the flames to _die_.” With a single lash of his tail, he turned and began to walk away from her, his back toward the rising sun, away from what remained of all he had known.

“Good riddance!” She yowled, her voice breaking as it shattered the morning air. She lashed her tail, her eyes blurring as tears continued to roll down her cheeks, her chest heaving for each breath. “I don’t need you!” She gritted her teeth, lowering her head, struggling to compose herself. _I never needed you!_

Sharktooth did her best to ignore the agony in her heart, her sides heaving as she struggled not to wail, falling to her haunches as she shook. _I never abandoned you in the flames to die_. Did he blame her for not doing anything to save their Clanmates? A choked sob escaped her jaws. Why did this hurt so much? She didn’t love him! With another sob, she fell to her belly, burying her muzzle in her paws as she let out a muffled cry.

When had she become so cruel?


End file.
